The Surprisingly Simple Secret to Being a Good Man: Just Don’t Be a Dick
Ah, masculinity in the modern era. It’s a minefield, isn’t it? One minute you’re holding the door open for someone, thinking you’re channeling peak chivalry, and the next you’re wondering if you’ve inadvertently mansplained your way into someone’s bad books. The world has changed, and with it, the expectations of what it means to be a good man. Yet, in this swirling sea of self-help books, Twitter think pieces, and TikToks dissecting alpha, beta, and “whatever Greek letter you’re feeling today” males, I’m here to share a profound, timeless truth:
The secret to being a good man is simply not being a dick.
It’s not flashy. It doesn’t come with a TED Talk or an Instagram course. But it works. Let’s break it down, shall we?
Rule 1: Don’t Be a Dick to Women
Yes, we’re starting here because… well, history. Look, women have endured centuries of nonsense, and the least you can do is not add to the pile.
Don’t catcall. It’s not charming; it’s weird. Nobody’s ever heard a “Nice legs, sweetheart” from a passing van and thought, You know what? That’s my soulmate. Respect boundaries, respect their choices, and for the love of all that is holy, if a woman says she’s not interested, don’t take it as a challenge to change her mind. She’s not playing hard to get; she’s just not interested. Move on.
And while we’re here: It’s okay to compliment someone, but don’t be creepy about it. “That’s a great jacket” is fine. “That jacket would look better on my bedroom floor” is not. See the difference? Subtle, but crucial.
Rule 2: Don’t Be a Dick to Other Men
Now, this is a big one. Men, we have a habit of sizing each other up like we’re auditioning for a reboot of Gladiator. The flexing, the ego trips, the “I can bench more than you” energy—it’s exhausting. Here’s the truth: You don’t have to treat every interaction with another man like it’s a competition.
Be kind. Compliment your buddy’s new haircut. Tell him you’re proud of him when he gets a promotion or finishes a 5K. Real men lift each other up—and not just in the gym. And if your friend confides in you about something serious, don’t dismiss it with, “Man up.” Offer a listening ear, not a half-assed pep talk from the 1950s.
Also, let’s talk about sports. You can love your team without hating someone else’s. It’s a game, not a blood feud. Chill.
Rule 3: Don’t Be a Dick to Yourself
Self-compassion, my dude. It’s not just for Instagram influencers in yoga pants.
Here’s the thing: You’re going to mess up. Maybe you already have. Maybe you’ve read this far and thought, Crap, I’ve definitely been a dick in the past. That’s okay. The fact that you’re reflecting on it means you’re already on the right path. Don’t beat yourself up. Learn, apologize if you need to, and do better moving forward.
And while we’re on the subject of self-care: Take care of your body and mind. Get enough sleep, drink water, and eat something green occasionally. Therapy? Not just for women and poets. It’s okay to talk about your feelings, even if your grandpa’s ghost is hovering over you whispering, “Back in my day, we bottled that stuff up.” Times have changed, Gramps.
Rule 4: Don’t Be a Dick Online
Oh boy. If there’s a place where dickishness thrives, it’s the internet. Social media has given everyone a megaphone, and some people use it like they’re auditioning for the role of "Villain in the Comments Section."
Here’s a wild idea: If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t type it. And no, “It’s just a joke” isn’t a magic pass that absolves you of being an ass. Context matters. Words matter. And if someone calls you out? Don’t double down like you’re defending the Alamo. Take the feedback and grow from it.
Also, unsolicited opinions are the online equivalent of showing up uninvited to a party. Nobody asked for your hot take on pineapple pizza, Karen—let people enjoy things.
Rule 5: Don’t Be a Dick to the Planet
Yes, we’re going there. Being a good man also means being a decent human in general. Recycle. Don’t litter. If you’re at the beach and you leave behind a pile of beer cans and Dorito bags, you’re not just being a dick to the environment; you’re being a dick to everyone who comes after you.
Do you have to become Captain Planet? No. But small acts of kindness toward the Earth add up. Bring a reusable bag to the store. Turn off the lights when you leave a room. Plant a tree, maybe. Who knows? It might become your new thing.
Rule 6: Don’t Be a Dick to Service Workers
Few things reveal someone’s true character faster than how they treat servers, cashiers, and delivery drivers. If you’re snapping your fingers at a waiter, complaining about your Amazon package being late like Jeff Bezos himself is behind the delay, or leaving a 10% tip because you’re “just not a big tipper,” you’re doing life wrong.
Say please. Say thank you. Tip generously if you can. And remember, that barista dealing with your third request for a caramel mocha frappuccino with extra whip is a human being, not your personal robot.
Rule 7: Don’t Be a Dick to Animals
This should go without saying, but apparently, it doesn’t. Don’t kick dogs. Don’t tease cats. Don’t mess with wildlife because you think it’ll make a funny Instagram story. Treat animals with kindness, whether they’re your pet or a squirrel in the park.
If you’re not a fan of animals, that’s fine. Just don’t go out of your way to be a jerk. Simple.
Rule 8: Don’t Be a Dick to Strangers
Random acts of kindness go a long way. Hold the door open for someone (yes, it’s still allowed). Let someone merge in traffic. Help the guy who’s clearly struggling to load a bookshelf into his car at IKEA. You’re not losing anything by being decent, and who knows? You might just make someone’s day.
Also, unsolicited advice is rarely welcome. Nobody at the gym needs your tips on how to deadlift, Chad. Read the room.
In Conclusion: The Not-So-Secret Secret
Being a good man isn’t about being perfect. It’s not about owning the right watch, driving the right car, or knowing how to light a campfire with a single match. It’s about how you treat the world around you—women, men, animals, the planet, and, yes, yourself.
So the next time you’re wondering if you’re doing this whole “being a good man” thing right, just ask yourself:
Am I being a dick right now?
If the answer is no, congratulations! You’re on the right track. Keep going. The world could use more of you.
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